How to Stop Being the Person Your Team Brings Every Problem To

As a leader, much of our time can be taken up by members of the team who encounter a problem and come to us to fix it for them. They don’t find a way around the issue themselves, and they rely on us to solve their problems.
This can be empowering and boost our own ego; because we’re the one that gets to solve the problem. We are an expert. However, as you step further up the leadership ladder, it can become a frustration or even a hindrance because your time is taken up with other people’s problems and you’re not able to focus on your own projects and goals.
Many leaders I encounter say things like,
“I want people to bring me solutions, not problems”.
That’s great. But the leader who always solves problems for everyone else conditions their team not to come up with solutions. Even if we tell them we want them to bring solutions. Control freak leaders are the same because their team are too scared to implement their own solutions for fear of criticism or correction. It’s just easier to let the boss solve it and stay safe.
Sound familiar?
The proviso is here that the person who’s working with you, understands their job, understands their role, and also understands how you might react, so if they’re a brand new member of staff, they might require a little bit more support, this is designed to be a solution for somebody who is already settled into their role and understands what it is they’re meant to do – they’re just not doing it.
So what if the person who works for you doesn’t have a solution? Well, here’s three ways that might be useful for you. We use the acronym “CRM” – which isn’t customer relationship management but has a relationship with your team member at its heart
C – Coaching Method
The first idea is to take a coaching approach, and this is probably my favourite. So when they come to you with a problem instead of giving them the answer, say something like,
“That’s a great question, and I think you already know the answer. Let me ask you some questions to unpack the thinking you’ve already done on this and let’s see if we can get there together”.
Now, this approach has a couple of advantages. The first is that you’re not belittling them or reducing their status in the situation and you’re encouraging them to do some thinking with you. And it boosts your credibility as a manager for being a coach or for being supportive, whilst maintaining their ability to solve the problem. Initially, this may feel like a slower method than just giving them the answer but over time, they’ll start to realize that you are always going to ask them to do some thinking with you.
Some great follow up questions here are
- What have they considered previously?
- Have they seen anybody else solve this before? What did they do?
- Why do they think that worked?
The aim here is to help their thinking and help them reach a solution by coaching and exploring with them.
R – Research method.
Say
“Why don’t you spend 20 minutes, having a look online for solutions to this problem, or something similar and see what you can come up with see if your imagination is sparked by the research that you do, and then come back to me and let’s have a conversation about it”.
If nothing else it buys you 20 minutes or longer, where you can keep focusing on your own thing. It also puts the ownership of the situation back in their court whilst they have a task to go and do some research. And over time, again, you can say to them,
“Hey, before you come to me why don’t you do the same thing, why don’t you have a look online for 20 minutes and see what you can find”.
Google and YouTube have a wealth of answers.
The aim here is to have them take a little bit more ownership of the solution.
M – Mimic method (also known as WWMMD – what would my manager do):
A third way you can approach this is to ask.
“What do you think I would answer/do/say in this situation”?
Again, you’re not giving them the answer you’re asking them to think about the solution or the answer that you might come up with. And this starts to help them to think more like you do. Again, freeing up your time and reinforcing your desire not to fix the issues but to trust them to do it themselves.
Three simple approaches you can take to deal with the person who keeps coming to you for the answers to free up your own time.
Let me know if you have any other solutions to this issue. I’d love to hear them.
If this sounds like your week
Your managers are not the problem. They are where the problem is stuck.
When your last leadership spend was signed off, did anyone go back to those managers' bosses and ask what changed? That question is the JBL Outcome Standard, and it is how I work.
- Find the friction. A short diagnostic that shows which decisions are stalling, and at what level.
- Am I the bottleneck? Ten questions on where your week is actually going.
- How I work with GMs. Six weeks, one hour a week, up to twelve of your managers, scored by their own bosses.
- Beat Burnout, Boost Performance. The book.
- The High Performance Leader podcast.
Managers I work with reclaim around four hours a week, and their bosses score the change 8.75 out of 10. Would it be a crazy idea to find out how we did this? Book a scoping call.
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Questions managers ask about this
How can I stop my team bringing every problem to me?
Encourage your team to think through problems by coaching them with questions instead of giving direct answers. Ask what they have considered, what solutions they have seen others try, and why those worked. This approach helps them develop problem-solving skills and reduces their reliance on you to fix every issue.
What should I do if my team member has no solution to a problem?
Ask them to spend time researching the problem independently, such as looking online for similar issues and potential solutions. This shifts ownership back to them and encourages them to find answers before coming to you, saving your time and building their confidence in handling challenges.
How do I help a team member think more like me in problem-solving?
Use the 'mimic method' by asking the team member what they think you would do in the situation. This encourages them to consider your approach and decision-making style, helping them develop similar problem-solving habits and reducing their need to bring every problem directly to you.
Why do some team members always come to me with problems instead of solutions?
If you habitually solve problems for your team or closely control decisions, they may feel safer relying on you rather than taking risks. This creates a dependency where they avoid thinking independently. To change this, encourage them to think through problems with you, research solutions, and consider your approach rather than expecting you to provide all the answers.
Hear this discussed on the podcast
Episodes of The High Performance Leader that cover the same ground.

Jimmy Burroughes
FounderFormer British Army officer and corporate GM who has transformed 3,000+ managers into leaders across 30+ organisations. Creator of the Simplify to Amplify methodology, author of Beat Burnout, Ignite Performance, and two-time Global Recognition Award winner.
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