How Separating Needs from Wants Sharpens Team Focus

If your team keeps missing the number despite working harder, or good people are burning out and leaving, the problem is often not effort. It is a lack of clarity about what actually matters. That same problem shows up at a personal level too, and it is worth examining.

As I work with clients on their performance, I have been paying increasing attention to the distinction between Needs and Wants and how it relates to high performance.

The list can become blurry. Many people are full of Wants but unclear on their Needs. They feel unfulfilled, always chasing more, pulled in multiple directions because they are pursuing too many things at once. They cannot work out what to stop or start, which leads to burnout. They also feel pressure to keep up with friends, partners and colleagues who are equally unclear, which muddies their thinking and breeds resentment and other unhelpful emotions.

In high performance, Needs are the essentials that move you closer to becoming the person you want to be. Wants make the journey more enjoyable, but they are not mandatory for progress.

Once that distinction is clear, the exercise is to write three lists: what do I Need from Myself, from My Career, and from My Network.

• Myself = my mind, body and wellbeing.
• My career = the way I financially support myself and provide security and stability.
• My network = my relationships, social circle, colleagues and so on.

People usually start with long lists. Gradually, the Wants in disguise get crossed out, and what remains often sounds something like this:

"I need good health and sufficient money to survive and to be surrounded by people I love and care about".

Lists vary, but most people's Needs turn out to be self-focused and very big picture. They miss the habits and actions required to deliver those Needs, so they do not provide a real pathway to achieving them. That requires harder, deeper thinking.

I use the term De-personalised Reflection to describe what has to happen. Picture a dog trying to cross a stream. The current is too fast, the water too cold and deep to swim. The dog keeps running back and forth, getting more frustrated. Its thinking is fixed on one thing: "I need to cross this stream."

Step back, and you might see a bridge, a log, another way across. What the situation needs is a different approach. Stepping away from the immediate task to ask what the situation requires is how you identify the real Needs.

The same applies to us. The instinctive response is "I need health," but if you step back and ask what your situation actually requires for a more successful Self, the answers become more specific and more useful:

• I need to exercise more and eat better.
• I need to drink less alcohol.
• I need to stop making poor behaviour choices.
• I need to plan my groceries so I do not get caught short and buy fast food.
• I need to take time for my wellbeing and mental wellness.
• I need time out to recharge without feeling guilt.

Honesty is required here, which is exactly why the dog analogy works. It was obvious to you what the dog needed. The challenge is getting past your own ego to be equally honest about what you Need.

Being clear on these three areas of Needs allows you to focus on what is essential to your success and identify tangible actions to work on. That creates forward momentum and the sense of fulfilment that high performers depend on.

If this sounds like your week

Your managers are not the problem. They are where the problem is stuck.

When your last leadership spend was signed off, did anyone go back to those managers' bosses and ask what changed? That question is the JBL Outcome Standard, and it is how I work.

• Find the friction. A short diagnostic that shows which decisions are stalling, and at what level.
• Am I the bottleneck? Ten questions on where your week is actually going.
• How I work with GMs. Six weeks, one hour a week, up to twelve of your managers, scored by their own bosses.
• Beat Burnout, Boost Performance. The book.
• The High Performance Leader podcast.

Managers I work with reclaim around four hours a week, and their bosses score the change 8.75 out of 10. Would it be a crazy idea to find out how we did this? Book a scoping call.

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