New Year's Resolutions Are a Socially Acceptable Way to Lie to Yourself
Why goals fail 23x more often than behaviours (and what to do about it)
Here’s how it usually goes.
You pick something big. “This year, I’m going to get fit.” Or “I’m finally going to be more strategic.” You feel great about it for about three days. Maybe a week if you’re really committed.
Then February shows up. The resolution is dead. And you tell yourself it’s because you lack discipline.
But it’s not discipline. It’s system design.
The Problem With Goals
Adam Grant said something that hit hard: goals are failed 23x more often than behaviours.
Think about that. Goals are the destination. Behaviours are the vehicle.
And most of us are setting destinations with no car, no fuel, and no map.
If your goal doesn’t have a specific behaviour attached to it, it’s not really a goal. It’s a wish with good marketing.
The Real Question
You don’t rise to the level of your intentions. You fall to the level of your defaults.
So the question isn’t: “What do I want in 2026?”
The real question is: “What am I willing to do on a Tuesday at 3pm when I’m tired, behind schedule, and irritated?”
Because that’s where your actual capacity lives. Not in the pumped-up version of you on January 1st. In the exhausted, overwhelmed version of you on a random Wednesday afternoon when everything’s gone sideways.
Make It Stupidly Small
Instead of: “I’m going to the gym.”
Try this: One push-up. Today.
That’s it.
Then every second day, add one more.
Sounds ridiculous, right? But here’s why it works:
- It’s too small to negotiate with yourself about
- It builds proof that you’re the kind of person who does the thing
- It respects the reality that you’re busy, stressed, and human
- It compounds over time
This is how real growth happens. Stress. Rest. Adaptation. Repeat.
The goal isn’t to go hard and burn out. The goal is to build a system you can’t talk yourself out of.
Leadership Works the Same Way
Most leaders set resolutions like:
- “I’ll be more strategic”
- “I’ll communicate better”
- “I’ll delegate more”
- “I’ll build a stronger culture”
Translation: “I’d like the outcomes of better leadership without actually changing what I do.”
High-performing leaders don’t win because they want it more. They win because they do a few specific things more consistently than everyone else.
Five Behaviours That Actually Work
One clean priority at the start of the week
Not ten priorities. One. What’s the constraint you’re solving this week? What moves if you solve it? Everything else is just noise.
One feedback conversation you’ve been avoiding
You know the one. The conversation you’re not having is costing you more than the discomfort of having it. Pick one. Schedule it. Have it.
One meeting cancelled and replaced with a decision
Most meetings exist because we’re afraid to make decisions. Cancel one meeting this week. Make the decision. Send a clear message. See what happens.
One 10-minute reset between meetings
When you’re going back-to-back all day, you’re not leading—you’re reacting. Build in 10-minute buffers. Walk around. Think. Reset. This isn’t a luxury. It’s how you stay effective.
One better question in every 1:1
Stop asking “How’s it going?” Start asking “What’s the real constraint right now?”
This cuts through the status updates and gets to what actually matters.
Small Actions, Done Repeatedly
That’s what becomes your reputation. Your culture. Your results.
You don’t need a massive transformation. You need five behaviours you can actually do on a Tuesday at 3pm when you’re tired and behind.
Because that’s when leadership actually happens. Not in the strategic planning session. Not in the all-hands meeting. In the messy middle of a chaotic week when you’re tempted to skip the hard conversation and let another priority slide.
Build a System You Can’t Fail
Most leadership advice tells you what you should do. Almost none of it helps you build systems that make those things inevitable.
That’s the gap. Between knowing and doing. Between intention and execution. Between the leader you want to be and the leader you actually are on a random Tuesday.
The leaders who win aren’t more motivated. They’re more systematic.
They’ve built behaviours so small they can’t negotiate with themselves. So consistent they become automatic. So aligned with what actually matters that they compound into real results.
Your Challenge
Pick one behaviour from the list above. Just one.
Do it this week. Then next week. Then the week after.
Don’t add a second one until the first is automatic. Don’t scale until the system is solid. Don’t chase transformation—chase consistency.
By March, you’ll have done it 12 times. By June, 24 times. By December, 50+ times.
That’s not a resolution. That’s a system. And systems don’t die in February.
What’s the one behaviour you’re starting with? Drop it in the comments and let’s make it stick.
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#Leadership #BehaviourChange #HighPerformanceLeadership #SystemsThinking #LeadershipDevelopment
P.S. – If you’re done with motivation and ready to build behaviours that actually stick, I’m running the next 6 Week Reset starting January 15th. No vision boards. No goal-setting workshops. Just practical systems that make better leadership inevitable. DM me “RESET” for details.
When you are ready to find out more, here are a few ways you can connect with me
- Tired of leadership advice that doesn’t work in the real world? → Get practical insights that actually work
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